Supporting Colin and his mother

"When his 80 year-old mother, who struggled to get his shopping upstairs, also got ill, I knew I had to do more for them." 

Anne Mellor, Volunteer Case Worker, and Associate Member, at the RAF Association's Huddersfield Branch 

"It all started with a phone call. I rang this new chap and we had a chat, then I went over to see him. I got to his building and there were a lot stairs going up to his flat." 

 

Anne is one of the RAF Association's Volunteer Case Workers, who supports the RAF community. Remembering her first meeting with a new beneficiary, she was talking about her work with members of the RAF community who need support. 

 

"As we were chatting, I noticed he had piles of paperwork that he was trying to get through… but he was struggling. His legs were fine but the struggle was in his hands". 

 

This was the start of Anne's friendship with Colin, back in 2018. Colin had worked in RAF intelligence during the Cold War , with postings to RAF Digby and Gatow in the 1980s.  He had been diagnosed with progressive motor neurone disease, but loved nothing more than to keep busy. Before he got ill he was a part-time shelf stacker at a supermarket. Anne recalls that after the diagnosis Colin was so determined to keep working that he went to his doctor to ask for a fit note. "A fit note?!" his doctor replied in shock. "Yes, as I'm fit enough to work the bottom two shelves but I can't lift my arms high enough for the others".  He later asked for another fit note when he could only stack the bottom shelf. 

 

Colin's arms continued to get progressively weaker. "Although he was in assisted-living, the carers only came in and got him up in the morning and put him to bed at night" Anne recalls. During one of her visits she noticed that his flat was starting to look unkempt. She arranged a meeting with his social worker and organised for him to move to sheltered housing where he could get more support. Anne and her husband spent more time preparing and decorating the new place before transporting in Colin's belongings. "You still live independently in a flat – which was great for Colin. He was a very, very bright man" 

 

A couple of months passed and Colin became unable to stand. In the meantime, Anne became friendly with his mother, Kathleen. In her mid-80s, she had used to carry all his shopping up the steps to the old flat when he started to lose the strength in his arms.  

 

Anne arranged for the RAF Association to also start supporting Kathleen.  Although it was unknown if she had served, she was Colin's dependant, and so eligible for assistance from the Royal Air Forces Association.  She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and told she would not have very long to live. By then, Colin was moving in to a nursing home and his mum wanted to go and live there with him. Anne arranged for them both to be under the same roof – which made it easier for them to still see each other regularly. 

 

"Every time I visited, which was four times a week, I used to go in and put her in a wheelchair and take her upstairs to see Colin. The relationship I struck up between the both of them was just amazing. They were both very bright people. We would do crosswords, quizzes… It felt like the three amigos basically". 

 

Colin passed away on Remembrance Sunday 2019, and his mum's health deteriorated as a result. "From his funeral she just went downhill," said Anne. "She died of a broken heart just three months afterwards. 

 

"He said he was more thankful for us and the RAF Association looking after his mum, because he wasn't able to do it, than for what I did for him," said Anne. "He was always so grateful – even the day before he passed away." 

 

Anne has been volunteering for the RAF Association since 2015, and was elected Branch Welfare Officer in 2018.  She does it because: "my Dad was in the RAF. Through his stories and experiences, I was able to admire the work that RAF personnel do. I feel the closer you get to our magnificent veterans and their dependents, the more you realise how deserving they are of our support. It is greatly satisfying that I am in the position to have a positive influence on improving their circumstances when things go wrong. This makes all my efforts worthwhile: a voluntary role I am proud to fulfil."