Dowding House community supports widow in need

When planning for a dream retirement with her husband, it never crossed Cathie Halkett's mind that, just four years later, she'd be facing life alone.   Yet, aged 69, she's having to cope without the love of her life, Robert, who died soon after being diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer. 

Robert, who served in the RAF for 12 years, died in 2018 shortly after being admitted to hospital. The couple had married 18 years earlier and were looking forward to a long and happy retirement together. 

Cathie said:

"In 2014, we sold our flat in Glasgow so we could make the most of our later years. We moved to Moffat, 60 miles south, because we loved the town's community feel and its easy access to the countryside.  

"We moved into the Dowding House retirement complex, which is owned by the RAF Association. It felt like home from the moment we walked through the door." 

But, within four years of settling, Robert, who had served with the RAF in Cyprus and Hong Kong, became seriously ill. He died just a few weeks later.  

Cathie said:

"It all felt rather sudden. One moment we were being told that he was very poorly, and the next he was gone." 

It wasn't the first time that Cathie had experienced the devastating effects of terminal cancer. Her first husband, the father of Cathie's now grown-up children, also died from the disease.  

Cathie said: "Words really can't describe how it feels to lose a partner. But somehow, and with loving support from my family and friends, I've kept going."  

After Robert's death, Cathie has felt more fortunate than ever to be living among other members of the RAF family at Dowding House. 

She said: "Robert, very wisely as it turned out, brought us here to live in a retirement complex for ex-RAF personnel and their spouses and widows. He'd seen an advert for it in RAF News, and thought it would be good for us to live close to like-minded people." 

Robert was right. Cathie looks back on the few years they shared together at Dowding House as some of their best, and it's a home that Cathie continues to cherish and enjoy now she's without him. 

Cathie said: "The complex's community, along with its nearby cafes, pubs and social clubs, gave Robert and I opportunities for meeting people and having fun that we wouldn't have otherwise had. 

"Making friends with other RAF family retirees has proved to be a crucial lifeline since Robert's death."  She added:

"I'd be very isolated if I was still living in Glasgow, but being part of this ex-RAF community means there's no need for me to feel alone.  

"Even when I close my front door, I feel surrounded by lots of caring people. The new friends that Robert and I made together pop in most days to say hello and check I'm OK. People have been kinder than I could have imagined. 

"I'm just a few steps away from a communal lounge, where I can chat with other residents, and there's a quiet garden with stunning views of the hills." 

Cathie, who worked as a social care worker near Glasgow before retiring, also walks to local shops and plays tennis several times a week to keep fit.  

She said: "While it can be difficult to face the world on my own, I feel it's important to keep active." 

The residents of the Dowding House complex work together to run social events and fundraisers, sometimes donating the money raised to the RAF Association's other welfare projects. 

Cathie said:

"I can't emphasise strongly enough how grateful I am to the RAF Association. It means so much to me, especially now I'm a widow, to be able to live in this type of community."