Marie Findlay and her husband, Brian, an RAF veteran, moved to Dundee in early 2018 to be nearer to their grown-up daughters, but after just a few months in their new home, Brian suddenly suffered a stroke and died.
"It's so shocking you don't know if you are dreaming or not. Without Brian, I had no friends to speak of here in Dundee, as it takes time to get to know people when you move to a new place," said 70-year-old former hotel worker Marie. "It was so sudden, and a real shock to me, so I could easily have ended up alone."
"Fortunately, I came across a piece in a newspaper about the RAF Association's Connections for Life service, which offers support to anyone who served in the RAF, as well as their spouses. I contacted the charity and asked for help."
Within a month, Marie had been introduced to RAF Association befriender Malcom 'Mal' Hodgson, a retired RAF Chief Technician from St Andrews. The two were soon talking on the phone and meeting up every couple of weeks.
Mal is an active member of his local RAF Association branch, became a Connections for Life volunteer for the charity in 2017, and has enjoyed being there for people like Marie ever since.
He said:
"I'm happy to pop over for a cup of tea and a chat, or just give Marie a phone call to check how she's doing. I'm astounded by the number of people who are on their own out there, because it really doesn't take much to support them and change their world for the better."
After six months of support from Mal, an RAF veteran of more than 30 years, Marie had made more links with her local community. This gave her the confidence to get by on her own and she became a befriender for the Community Companions in Dundee.
"Before I moved to Dundee I used to look after an elderly lady for a few hours a week," she said. "Now that I've had similar help from the RAF Association's Connections for Life service, I am pleased to help others who may be in the same position as I was."
Marie now also travels by bus to visit her daughter and grandchildren in Dundee, and makes the train journey to see her other daughter and grandchildren in Edinburgh.
"Brian used to do all the driving. After he died, I knew if I got stuck in I would have died myself. It's 'do or die' isn't it. So I did it – and learned how to use the buses and trains by myself."
"Mal helped me to feel better in myself. I still see him every now and again."
Before lockdown, Marie and Mal met up at the end of the month to go to the quiz at the RAF Association Leuchars Branch, which was a great way to meet other veterans. They were planning to go quizzing again at the end of the COVID-19 pandemic.
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